How to choose a strap-on: the complete buying guide (2026)

There are four main types of strap-on. The table below gives a quick overview; the paragraphs that follow explain each type in more detail.

Dildo + O-ring harness is the most widely sold type. The harness has an opening that holds an O-ring; you push the dildo through the O-ring, which keeps it in place. Most sets come with two or three interchangeable O-rings so you can use dildo bases of different diameters. Choose a harness made of nylon, leather or neoprene with adjustable straps for a good fit on any body.

Vibrating harness features a pocket or slot for a small bullet vibrator behind the O-ring, giving the wearer extra clitoral stimulation. Some models are wireless or app-controlled.

Strapless or double dildo (also known as the feeldoe type) has an internal section that is inserted into the wearer's body and held in place by muscle tension. The external section penetrates the partner. This type requires some getting used to because muscle control is needed; we recommend that beginners first gain experience with a harness type.

Hollow or sleeve strap-on fits over the wearer's penis or over a flaccid penis. Ideal for erectile difficulties or when the wearer does not need to take a penetrating role. Most models have an open front so that sensory contact remains possible.

The O-ring is the connection between the harness and the dildo. The diameter of the O-ring must match the diameter of the base of the dildo (also called the neck, the narrowest point just above the flange).

• An O-ring that is too large allows the dildo to wobble or fall out.
• An O-ring that is too small will not fit over the dildo base.

Measure the diameter of the dildo neck in centimetres and choose an O-ring that matches it as closely as possible. Common sizes are 3.5 cm, 4.0 cm and 4.5 cm. If in doubt, buy a harness that comes with multiple O-rings or purchase a set of separate O-rings.

For beginners with pegging (anal penetration with a strap-on), start with a smaller dildo than you think you need. A dildo with a diameter of 2.5-3.5 cm and a smooth, tapered tip is a good starting point. The dildo must also have a wide, secure base (flange) that sits firmly in the O-ring of the harness so it cannot be inadvertently drawn inward (see also the butt plug size guide and the anal beginners guide).

For vaginal penetration, personal preference is the main guide; many beginners choose a dildo of 14-17 cm in length and 3-4 cm in diameter.

The dildo used with a harness comes into contact with mucous membranes. Choose only body-safe, non-porous materials. Non-porous materials contain no microscopic cavities and can be fully disinfected.

Recommended materials:
- Medical-grade silicone: flexible, soft, hypoallergenic, phthalate-free. Clean with warm water and mild soap or boiling (without batteries or motor). Use water-based lubricant only: silicone lubricant chemically degrades the silicone surface, making it porous and unhygienic.
- Borosilicate glass: hard, smooth, suitable for temperature play. Compatible with water-based and silicone lubricant. Always check for cracks before use.
- Surgical steel (stainless steel 316L): hard, heavy, suitable for temperature play. Compatible with water-based and silicone lubricant.

Avoid:
- Jelly, PVC, TPR/TPE: porous, may contain phthalates. Bacteria and fungi harbour in them even after cleaning. If you do use such a dildo, always place a condom over it.

The labelling 'body-safe' and 'phthalate-free' is a recognised industry standard; brands making this claim should be able to substantiate it (source: general body-safe guidelines, Minna Life).

Good lubricant is essential, both for vaginal and anal penetration with a strap-on.

• Vaginal penetration: use a water-based lubricant with a pH of 3.5-4.5 that is compatible with mucous membranes. Avoid glycerine if you are prone to yeast infections.
• Anal penetration (pegging): the anus produces no natural moisture. Use plenty of water-based lubricant, apply it to both the dildo and the anus, and reapply whenever you feel resistance. Never use numbing gel (containing benzocaine or lidocaine): pain is a signal that you are going too fast or that irritation is occurring. Numbing agents mask that signal and increase the risk of unnoticed injury (source: StatPearls NBK557557 on rectal foreign bodies).
• On a silicone dildo: always water-based. Silicone lubricant degrades the material.
• On glass or steel: water-based or silicone, both are safe.

See the lube buying guide for a detailed comparison by type.

Pegging is anal penetration with a strap-on, where the non-receiving partner wears the strap-on. It is enjoyed by couples of all genders and sexual orientations.

Safety rules for pegging (the same as for any anal play):

1. 1Communication and pace: discuss what feels good beforehand, and start slowly. The receiving partner sets the pace.
2. 2Small size: start with a smaller dildo (approximately 2.5-3.5 cm diameter). Use a progressive approach if desired, similar to an anal training set.
3. 3Plenty of water-based lubricant: the anus produces no natural moisture. Apply lubricant generously and reapply regularly.
4. 4Secure dildo base: the dildo MUST have a wide flange that sits firmly in the O-ring of the harness. This prevents the dildo from being accidentally drawn inward. (Source: StatPearls NBK557557 on rectal foreign bodies.)
5. 5No numbing gel: pain is an injury signal; do not suppress it.
6. 6Stop at pain: stop immediately at sharp or persistent pain. For bleeding or ongoing symptoms afterwards, consult a doctor.

For further background, see the anal beginners guide.

A hollow strap-on (hollow sleeve with harness) offers a solution when penetration is made difficult by erectile difficulties. The sleeve fits over the penis and is attached to a harness. The wearer can penetrate regardless of erection.

• Choose a sleeve made of medical-grade silicone or another body-safe non-porous material.
• Many models have an open tip so that the wearer retains sensory stimulation.
• Use plenty of water-based lubricant (silicone lubricant degrades silicone).
• Choose a sleeve that matches the wearer's body measurements for a stable fit.
• Hollow strap-ons are also used for penis extension or when a partner finds the penis size to be small.

Erectile difficulties may have a medical cause. A hollow strap-on is a practical aid, but for persistent difficulties a conversation with a doctor or sex therapist is advisable.

A poorly fitting harness reduces pleasure and control.

• Adjustable straps are essential: choose a harness with multiple adjustable bands (hips and thighs) that fits a wide range of body shapes.
• Harness material: nylon is lightweight and easy to wash. Leather or neoprene feels sturdier and gives more control, but requires more careful cleaning.
• Pelvic brace: a harness with a solid back panel or wide waistband gives more thrust power and prevents the dildo from tipping forward.
• Harness-compatible dildos: always verify that the dildo base is wide enough not to pass through the O-ring. Most strap-on dildos have a flared base; regular dildos without a base are not harness-compatible.
• Double O-ring: some harness models have a double O-ring for extra stability with larger dildos.

Wash a new harness before first use with warm water and mild soap. Clean it after use in the same way; nylon harnesses can often be machine-washed on a cold/delicate cycle.

Thorough cleaning after every use is essential to prevent infections.

Silicone dildo (without motor):
- Boil in water for 3-5 minutes, or wash with warm water and mild soap, then rinse well.

Glass and steel:
- Boil, dishwasher (top rack), or soak for 10 minutes in a 10% bleach solution, then rinse thoroughly.

Harness (nylon/leather/neoprene):
- Nylon: hand-wash or machine wash on cold/delicate, air dry.
- Leather: wipe dry with a damp cloth or use a specialist leather product; do not soak in water.
- Neoprene: hand-wash with mild soapy water, rinse well, air dry.

O-rings:
- Wash O-rings along with the harness or rinse them separately with warm soapy water.

Storage:
- Store the dildo and harness separately in a cloth pouch or clean container.
- Before each use, check that the dildo, O-ring and harness connections are undamaged.

This is general information, not medical advice; if you have any symptoms or concerns, consult a doctor or sex therapist.

• First time, complete beginner: adjustable nylon harness with O-ring and a smooth silicone dildo (beginner size, approximately 14 cm, 3 cm diameter). Buy extra O-rings. Browse the strap-on category.
• Extra stimulation for the wearer: choose a vibrating harness with a bullet pocket.
• Both partners want to enjoy without a harness: choose a strapless/double strap-on; expect a learning curve.
• Solution for erectile difficulties: choose a hollow strap-on of body-safe silicone with an adjustable harness.
• Want to try pegging: start with a slim silicone dildo (2.5-3 cm diameter, wide base) and plenty of water-based lubricant. Also read the anal beginners guide.

Visit the strap-on category for the full Intimico range. See dildos for separate harness-compatible dildos.